Picture day

Yup… today was anatomy scan version II. Since we had our first anatomy scan at 17wks, there were things that they couldn’t measure because the kids were too small. So they had us come in today to get a better look. And the kids were awesome. I have posted a couple of 3D pics of the boos here.

Today was a huge milestone. Why you ask? Nope… not because the kids are 20wks old, not because I have gotten this far, but today was the first time I wasn’t nerve-wrecked waiting to get an ultrasound. For so many years, it has always been the fear of either not having enough follicles during a antral follicle count check, the fear of follicles not developing well during stims, the lining not developing well during prep, not seeing a yolk sac or a fetal pole, not seeing a heartbeat, or the possibility of one heart having stopped. Today was different. I could feel both of them move as we were waiting to be called in. I knew that they were alive. I didn’t have to brace myself for possible doom. I love the assurance that the kids’ movements bring to my day. Absolutely love it!

Growth wise, both the kids are growing and measuring on track. Baby A is a couple of days ahead at 20w3d and Baby B is 20w1d. Their heart rates were in the 155-158 range. They currently weigh 12oz each. (Three weeks ago, they weighed 70z each). Of course, these estimates are all just that… estimates. But still hopeful indeed. The cervix was at 3.5cm… so it was good. I go back in 4 weeks for another growth scan but, I get to meet my doc in 2 wks where I will have another cervix check. All in all.. today was good. No complaints here.

 

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20 wks

We are in the twenties….. Wooohooo!

The biggest relief reaching 20 wks gets me is that IF something were to happen… anything…. anything that I want the doc to look at during odd hours of the day/night… I can head to the L&D directly. Not that I want to go to the L&D anytime for the next 18 wks or so but it definetely beats heading to the emergency room and waiting there to be looked at. How do I know this? I had to call the on-call doc a couple times  (once when I was 15 wks and once at 18 wks) for odd pains on my right side/cramps etc. Both times I have been told that since I was early and was not even 20 wks, they cant have me come to the L&D and I would have to go to the ER if I wanted to be seen. ER = long wait times = not something I wanted to do when I wanted to be seen immediately. Their reasoning was that even if anything was wrong (aka I was in labor), given the gestational age of the babies, there was nothing they could do to save the babies. The babies would have to be atleast 20 wks for them to take me seriously. So… since then, I began the countdown to 20 wks. And woohoo… first of many milestones reached.

The kids are moving around quite a bit now. No patterns yet but they seem to be more active in the evening hours after dinner. And DH was able to immediately feel them last night. He felt them for the first time about 4 days ago but it has been very sproadic since then. So it was an amazing feeling yesterday. I was sooo happy that he can feel them. Ahhh… makes him feel that much closer to being a part of this. As soon as he felt them he was like… “Hey… I think we are actually going to have babies at the end of this.” This is huge. He is letting his guard down as well. This journey has been hard on him too (even though he doesn’t show it). The reality is finally hitting him. This is amazing!

As I was looking at my previous posts, I have realized that the fear of impending doom has kept me from documenting the first half of this pregnancy. Whatever the outcome is, these babies are ours and will forever be. And if everything goes well, this will most likely be the last time I will be pregnant. So here’s to trying to do a better job at enjoying AND documenting the rest of this pregnancy. On that note, I have updated the “Belly” page with my 20wk belly shot.

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Meltdown

I have read a lot abt hormones and pregnancy and meltdowns but I never thought much of it. I mean… come on, I have been through seven rounds of injecting hormones into my body over the last 4 years and I have survived that. Pregnancy hormones…. pffft… should be a piece of cake. Or so I thought!

I had my first meltdown an hour ago. I mean seriously…. uncontrollable tears running down my cheeks for 10 straight minutes! God! And I was at work. Oh the kicker, all the while (as the tears are pouring), I KNEW that I was crying over something absolutely stupid. I KNEW that I needed to stop and get over it. I KNEW that it was the stupid hormones. But there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Oh… who caused it you ask? My dear wonderful jerk-ass husband. I asked him to meet me at the cafe for a snack (he was at my work place). He agreed. It took me a little while (maybe 5 mins longer than a non-pregnant fast walker) to waddle my way to the cafe as I had to stop on the way for a pee-break. As I am peeing, my cell phone rings. I ignore. (BTW, I can’t stand it when people talk in bathroom stalls… I think its just gross!) As I leave the restroom, he calls again. I take it and he was like “I am waiting in the cafe and you are not here. Where are you? You ask me to come and you are not here. I have work to do so I am going back upstairs.” I was like “I had to stop to pee, but OK”. As I head to the cafe, I see him, he turns around to accompany me, and I ask him to continue on if he has work. He leaves. I get my food. Come back to my cube. And all hell breaks lose! Wow!

On any other day, I would have been like… “You idiot, I am carrying two human beings, can’t walk straight, and have to pee every 3 hours, so cut me some freaking slack”. But not today. And in all reality, it WAS NOT a big deal at all!! He was probably tensed abt some deadlines/meetings/whatever. But it was something that was completely out of my control.

Crying uncontrollably for something stupid… definitely a first for me. Oh, I wonder how many more such episodes are waiting for me. Fun.

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19wks – Half way point!!

I have been MIA from blog land. No particular reason. Just pure absolute laziness! Is that an honest reason or what?!

So let’s get to the topic of the week… shall we? This past Tuesday I turned 19wks. Yes. 19 wks. Half way point for twins. I can’t believe we have made it this far. Wooohooo! I am in La La land. I am starting to let myself believe that hey… I might actually end up with two live babies by July! Huh… Pregnancy can actually lead to babies… what a concept?!

There are still spurts of fear that arise everytime I start feeling a little pain around the ute area — can’t differentiate between growing pains and braxton hicks yet! (And yes, I believe I have started getting braxton hicks. Sigh) But the fears aside, I have been doing great. Weight gain is going well. The eating is ravenous. Sleeping has been well so far. Back pain and fatigue come and go but nothing that I can’t handle. I even sent my mom back home because I have been feeling good. (My mom practically moved in with us right after the embryo transfer to take care of me throughout the ordeal. For which I will be forever grateful for!) The kids are moving atleast once a day. I am just content right now! And content is an awesome place to be after years of longing and pain. It feels different. It feels good.

Oh… and to honor all your requests, here is what mua looks like at 13 wks and 19 wks. I have also updated the Boos page to add a couple of pics from our anatomy scan 2 wks ago.

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