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Archive for October, 2010

Touch wood! Beta#2 is in

I went in for my repeat beta today and it was 1318 today (11dp5dt). A doubling time of 37 hours or an increase of 145%. They like to see an increase of at least 66%. Looks like we have passed step 1 too. Horray!

Thanks for all your comments and blessings! DH and I are truly ecstatic and are beyond thrilled! Wow… this might actually work! We are still digesting this sweet message.

And also thanks to the awesome well-wisher who submitted my blog to LFCA. Thank you very very much. You guys are the best.

Seriously… please touch wood for me.

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And my beta is …

536!!!

I am in awe! I am in disbelief. Here I am praying that I get a number above 100 and what an awesome surprise. I just got the call. Today is 9dp5dt or 14dpo. The CCRM nurse said that they like to see the number above 50. So they are very happy too. She said that there could either be a really strong single pregnancy or a twin pregnancy. Only the u/s will reveal the real answer.

Of course… I turned to statistics immediately. According to betabase, at 14dpo, only 2% of singleton pregnancies reported a number that high, 8% of twin pregnancies, and 24% of triplet+ pregnancies. Wow! Just Wow! Scary!

With my last pregnancy almost two years ago, my beta on 15dp3dt was 90. Two days later, it was 237. So I am beyond relieved that we have passed this step.

Now… onto P4 levels. My level was 6.4. They would like to see the level to be above 5.0 since I am on Prometrium. So they say it is looking good too… But of course, I am worried that it might be borderline. But my nurse wasn’t a bit worried abt it.

My next beta is day after tomorrow on 11dp5dt. They would like to see an increase of atleast 66%.

A week from Friday (Nov 5th), they want to recheck my E2 and P4 levels.

A week from that (Nov 12th) is my first ultrasound. Deep Breadth!

I can’t believe this is happening…  Someone…  please pinch me!

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So…

My nurse called. She said I could just go ahead and POAS now. She didn’t think it would make a huge difference between today’s morning’s pee and right now for a home test… especially given that my beta is tomorrow. She wasn’t comfortable with me using today morning’s pee though. And I didn’t ask why. She reminded me that a negative HPT does not mean an end all and told me not lose hope.

So… with much hesitation, I peed at 5:30pm (a 2.5 hr gap from my last one).

And here it is…

I just hugged my hubs and cried and cried and cried for a good 5 mins. I am over the moon happy. I feel like I have conquered the world! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all your prayers. And of course, thank you God.

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New level of insanity

The wait is killing me! I have never been this crazy before. And my outlet to my anxiety…. Dr.Google, of course! Looked again at the SART report on CCRM. It is sad that they don’t split the CCS normal cycles from the non-tested cycles. Of course, the latest year they had on file was 2007 and I bet CCS didn’t even exist (or wasn’t prevalant) at that time.  I scoured the internet for any and all cases who received a BFN with CCS normal embies and a good lining from CCRM. My ray of hope came from that. I couldn’t find any such cases. Of course, there is a high possibility that I was looking at the wrong places. Whatever… I will take hope from where I get it. And it got me through yesterday.

I couldn’t sleep through most of last night. After a vivid dream, my nerves woke me up at 3:30am and that was the end of it. Kept waking up evert 30 mins or so thinking about how badly I want to know if it worked. I was sure of one thing… I only wanted to test when hubs was around. And of course, my hubs doesn’t come home until 11am and I don’t have the guts to test without FMU. So what do I do? FYI… the following might gross you out, so continue at your own risk. At 7:30 today morning, I pee in a paper cup and decide to store it until DH is home. I know… I am desperate!

When DH is home, I tell him abt the pee that is waiting for the stick and he says… no lets wait till tomm morning (day of beta). After some back and forth “discussions” and some tears he says if I know for sure that any hCG present would not have “evaporated” and that the pee is still valid since it has been sitting in room temperature for about 9 hours, then I can test it. Sigh! I can’t prove that. He is so worried that a false negative would devastate me and I know he is protecting me from it. But…. me…. want…. to…. know!

And my nurse in CCRM is not picking the damn phone up. Ugh!! Left her a message saying that I have a generic HPT question. “Patiently” awaiting her phone call!

While I am here, I might as well list my symptoms. Today at 8dp5dt, my boobs are still sore. The heaviness in the ute area comes and goes. But, that’s it! Wish me luck!

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7dp5dt & POAS thoughts

Many of you asked if and when I would POAS. Yesterday morning I woke up and had the slightest thought of doing the deed. But then, DH is not here, and the thought of possibly seeing a stark white window without him being here to support me is crazy! So no POAS yesterday. And no POAS until my hubs is here. He lands on Tuesday morning at around 10am. So I will either POAS on Tuesday night or on Wednesday morning. And Wednesday is my beta!

Not much of cramping/pressure yesterday (6dp5dt) but the girls are sore and heavy! YAY! The extra progesterone pill up my hoohaa has definitely kicked in. I was originally going to go into work starting today but decided against it. We live on the 3rd floor with no elevator and I was not comfortable going up and down those stairs 4 times in a day (I would have to come home in the afternoon to take my Prometrium). I explained this to my boss and he was very supportive. So I am working from home until Wednesday. I love my job! I will decide about Thursday and Friday after the beta.

No symptoms yet for today (7dp5dt). Although, over the last couple of days, I have noticed that the ute pressure seems to be more prevalent  in the evening. I know that at 13dpo implantation would have occurred by now. I also know that POAS today will give me an answer. They expect the beta to be >50 on beta day. Betas are supposed to double every 48 hrs. Which means my beta, if tested today, should be atleast 25. And that would definitely be detectable by the FRER that is in my cabinet. So now all I pray is for the embies to dig deeper and make a nice home for themselves.

Thanks for all your comments and support. I managed to avoid thinking abt the entire situation yesterday and prevented the downward spiral. I plan to keep myself occupied with work for most of today. I just have to get through tonight and then DH will be here tomorrow morning. One step at a time.

Less than 48 hrs to beta!

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Pressure & 5dp5dt

So let’s see… I had a breakdown last night. As I was laying in bed waiting for the Prometrium to absorb, I managed to get myself into a downward spiral. The pressure is too much. Way too many people are praying for me – a lovely couple IRL, my parents, my sister, a wonderful set of friends from my Resolve group, an awesome set of colleagues from work, all you guys, and of course my husband. There are waaaaay more people who know abt this cycle than any of my previous cycles. I feel like I shouldn’t let them down.

My mom is staying with me here. Since DH has to stay close to school to finish up his MBA, my DH didn’t want me to stay alone during the 2WW. I flew my mom to stay with me. And she is not letting me lift anything… not even my laptop. She is taking care of everything around here and pampering me to the nth degree. I basically, eat, sleep, pee, watch tv, and browse. I would hate to disappoint her. I want this to work for her.

And then comes my sister. She just got engaged last month. She and her fiance wanted to get married during the memorial day weekend of next year. The wedding would have been in the east coast. But knowing abt my transfer and the fact that I would want to avoid travel when I am pregnant, they moved their wedding to the Labor Day weekend. They moved their wedding because of ME! They are counting that this will work. I want this to work for her.

Then finally, there is CCRM. This is my first transfer with CCRM; they are my last resort; this has to work! I can’t imagine what I would do if this doesn’t work. DH keeps reminding me that it is ok if this doesn’t work, we have 5 more blasts waiting in CCRM. But how do I pick myself back up and trust my body with those embies?!!

As far as symptoms today (5dp5dt), I have been very tired, sleepy, light pressure in ute area throughout the day, just a tad bit of crampiness in the afternoon, no spotting, and still no (extra) sore boobs. Looks like the extra Prometrium a day is kicking in.

Deep Breadth!

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4dp5dt

I am apprehensive. I haven’t felt much cramps. Just felt some pressure in my ute area for a couple of hours yesterday but nothing other than that. I know there is still time for the embies to implant. So I am holding on to that hope. What really bothers me is what the nurse (the one who came to take my vitals right after the transfer) said when we asked whether we should extend our stay in Denver to avoid travel. She said the embies will implant within the two days after transfer and whatever will happen would have happened by then! Gulp! I want to believe that she is wrong and that there is still time left.

From the blood work on transfer day, it turned out that my e2 levels were a little low at 250 something and p4 at 5.9. They like to see e2 above 300 and p4 above 5.0. So later on transfer day, I was asked to add an estrace pill orally to my regimen as well. Yesterday, I got thinking. Bad thing… I know! The sore boobs I felt does not exist anymore! I should at least have that from the prometrium pills that I am taking. So is my p4 low too? Hmm. Called up the nurse line and asked abt any supplemental p4 that I can take. They said I could increase my pills to 4x a day instead of 3x a day for “my peace of mind”. I started that as of yesterday. So hopefully my boobs will feel a little sore today.

Last night I got another news to dampen my spirits. My younger cousin sister called to announce her pregnancy! She is the sweetest of all my cousins so I am happy for her. Not over the top happy but just glad. But I swear, when she told me abt this, it was like a serrated knife through my chest followed by a couple of twists. This is insane. If my mom wasn’t around, I would have curled into a fetal position and wailed my eyes out. But I didn’t want to cry in front of her. I didn’t even talk to her abt this. Just changed the topic to something else. I have another cousin who is married. I am thinking her announcement is not too far away either. Oh God, please let this FET work! Please.

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