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Archive for December, 2008

You have got to be kiddin me!

Look who’s pregnant via IVF!!! Seriously!!?! What’s next…. Inter-galactic transfers?! Ughhh!

A note to the IVF scientists out there… For heaven’s sake, can you guys please focus on ensuring the human species can get a better success rate?! At least the elephants don’t have twisted emotions like the homosapiens do.

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Reality check

Had some spotting yesterday evening. It was brown…. so most probably old blood.  When I saw it, there was this flash of a moment where I thought this was it… the end of it all. My mind just froze! A split second later, I remembered (from the various bleeding stories that I had read) that brown was OK and red was bad. Snapped out of it, told DH, and spent the rest of the evening with my legs propped up. No incidents after that! Thank God!

It was just that one time, but enough to scare the living crap out of DH and me. It just made us realize how fragile the entire situation is. There is so much unknown in this. One moment I am elated with joy and very next moment I could be robbed of it all and left to dust.

Dr. Google led me to a reputable source that tells me that given my age, there is a 9% chance that I can miscarry after an ART cycle

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And more than 90% of those who miscarry (in my age group), lose them before they reach 10 wks! GULP!

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Scary!!!

I complete 10 weeks on Jan 2 2009. So all I have to do is pray that I get through this year safely.

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Once an IF, always an IF!!

OK… I have been sooo furious since I heard this. So have to get it all out!

First a little bit of a background info. Both DH and I come from big families. We each have a boatload of cousins on either side. Lucky from me, I am the eldest on my side. My DH, the second eldest one on his side. Either way, we were the first to get married in my generation ( that was 5 yrs ago). So the pressure to have kids was on since the day we got married! Sucks… I know! But thank God, most of our relatives are out of the country… so only had to deal with their pestering on the phone. No biggie!

A couple of years ago, 2 of DH’s cousins got married… one was younger than him. And what do we hear two months later?? They were expecting. Both of them. Unbelievable! And what’s the kicker you ask?? The bride and groom barely knew each other! They were both arranged marriages. (Yup… those things still exist)

Throughout all of this, while we were stuggling with IF, more pressure started to build from our families. “They got married after you and they have kids… why don’t you have kids too?”!! UGH! And that was one of the most important reasons why we didn’t disclose our IF struggles to them — can’t bear the constant nagging of whether the cycle worked! Very good decision!

Last night, we came to know that another cousin who got married a month ago (also an arranged marriage) is also expecting! WTF??!? How does it frigging happen soo easily! Why? Why? Why do we have to go through so much whereas couples who barely know each other get by with an “oops”??? I am soo agitated and angry right now.

Life is soo unfair!

Interestingly, I thought that once I am PG, my feelings towards such scenarios would subside and calm down. Apparently not. The pain, the struggles, the disappointments don’t just go away. Once an infertile, always an infertile!

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Sinking in & Symptoms

Thank you for all your well wishes. I am finally starting to believe it. We are still cautious but very happy! I am so so grateful for this. This weekend was fabulous. Since we received the news of the doubling beta, I have been slowly letting my guard down. I decided to go get myself a PG book. After browsing through a bunch of books, I settled on the “What to expect…” book. Since then, I have been curled up with that book all weekend.

Did you know that almost all of the baby’s organs are formed within the first 10 weeks??!? Wow… I was amazed. That’s when it hit me, I better start eating right. Now that threw me up for a loop. I am a lacto-ovo-vegetarian (aka one who eats vegetables, eggs and diary). So, getting my protien is going to be a little bit of a pain. The PG book had a plan called the “PG diet” and listed all the nutrients that I would need. My God… it was overwhelming! There were just way too many things to count. Servings of Vit C, Calcium, Protein, Iron, “Other”, etc etc. I have never counted calories or servings in my life before. I am a little taken aback but no biggie… I can do this. But, the first thing I did was to get myself some pre-natal vitamins (there was no way I was going to get ALL the nutrients from what I eat). So far, I have only been taking a folic acid/Vit B supplement. I tried starting prenatals about a yr ago but ended up feeling nauseated every time I took them. Absolutely hated them!! So I stopped after a week or so. But this time, I tried a different brand. It was a bit more expensive, but it is AWESOME! No icky smell. No bad after-taste. No puking feeling afterwards. Perfect. I don’t remember the name of the brand. I promise to let you guys know when I get home.

As far as symptoms go, couple of them are starting to show their head. Fatigue is the #1 symptom so far. I am tired most of the time. Not uber-tired that I can’t get through the day or something. But tired enough that I can’t concentrate on work. Oh, another thing I noticed today was that my breathing got heavier (than usual) when I climbed stairs. Constipation/Gas claims the #2 position. God Oh God… I did not realize that no one can stay in the same room as I am, once I am PG! I can stink up a room in no time. Luckily, this seems to strike only in the evenings. Thank god… I can keep my day job! Poor DH though! I am still trying to find what (if anything) triggers it.

All in all, so far so good! :)

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