OK… so I officially have a schedule

I called my Doc’s office on Friday to setup the timeline for IVF#4. And here it is…

Aug 21st – Start BCPs
Sep 8th – Last BCP Dose
Sep 9th – B/W + Suppression check appt
Sep 12th – Start Stims (175IU of Foll.istim + 2 vials of Me.no.pur)
Sep 15th – 1st B/W + Monitoring Appt

And if I respond anything like my first IVF, here’s whats to follow:

Sep 18th – 2nd B/W + Monitoring Appt
Sep 18th – Stims changed to 175IU of Foll.istim + 1 vial of Menopur
Sep 20th – 3rd B/W + Monitoring Appt
Sep 20th – Stims changed to 125IU of Foll.istim + 1 vial of Menopur + Gane.relix + 50ml Micro-do.se h.CG
Sep 21st – 4th B/W + Monitoring Appt
Sep 21st – Stims changed to 125IU of Foll.istim + Gane.relix + 50ml Micro-do.se h.CG
Sep 22nd – 5th B/W + Monitoring Appt
Sep 22nd -  Last stim shot of 75IU of Foll.istim + Ovi.drel trigger shot in the PM
Sep 24th – RETRIVAL!!
Sep 29th – 5-day transfer!! (I have never had a 5-day transfer… and I am so hoping for one this time around)
Oct 9th – Beta! GULP!

You know… I often wonder why I have to pay $$$$$$ for someone to give me this schedule. I know what’s going to happen when. Those blood draws aren’t rocket science (if done right that is! I have had some pretty bad ones though. In any case, shouldn’t be hard to pick up). I know what to look for in my ovaries. I know when I am ready to be harvested. The only thing I probably need help for is that retrival thing. Crap they knock me out… so I don’t even get an opputunity to learn how to do that + I don’t think I can get myself to stick a needle through my vagina into my ovaries…. yeah… not happening. So ok fine… I guess I will shell out some $$$ for that. And definitely for the embriologist that does her magic. I will not attempt to cut down the salary of the one person who looks after my babies before I get to see them!

Heck, they should start giving out discounts for the seasoned IVF patients like me. Let’s see….

1. For one, we know what’s to come, so less prepping time needed.
2. We have so few questions… if any.
3. We don’t care for the flowery talk… just give us the plain facts… straight and square.
4. We know the numbers of all the nurses and IVF coordinators and doctors there… so no need to waste any energy trying to hide details… because you know we are going to double check.
5. All the people in the clinic know us by our first name, so no worries abt miscommunication issues.
6. And no worries abt looking at the wrong file either, because ours will be the biggest/fattest file in your filing cabinet!

Care to add to the list?

All in all…. I am an easy patient! Now all that the nurses and doctors have to do is to do as I say… and we will have no problems. Simple! ;)

YAY… I see red!!

Never in the last 3+ years of TTC have I ever imagined I would say this but I am sooo happy to see blood. Yipppieee YAY!! AF is here and I am sooo glad that she is. This means I get to start my BCPs for IVF#4. ***deep breath***. I have been waiting for this for the longest time. My last cycle was only in March/April… but it seems like it was ages ago.  Can’t wait to start those stims!! Ahhh… so excited! God…. I sound like a drug junkie. Pffftt….who am I kidding… I am one. HA!

I am very positive about this cycle. I just have a feeling that this is going to work. Fingers Crossed!! I have never felt this positive for any of my other cycles. I am very optimistic and I am going to try and STAY optimistic as long as I can. I am going to give this cycle all the chance I can give. So if any of the claims made by those mind-body whazoos are right, then this cycle will be a success. I am going to try and block the “what-ifs” from my head. I am not going to plan the “what-if-this-doesn’t-work” aspect of it… actually I am going to put zero effort into thinking that.

I believe that part of the optimism comes from the fact that my mom is going to be here for the entire cycle. In fact she lands on the day I am scheduled to start my stims and will be around till after my beta. So I will have way more physical/emotional support that I have ever had in my previous cycles.

Ahhhh…. can’t contain my excitement!!!

I want that!

The weekend was good — lots of relaxing, couple of yoga classes, hosting a friend for dinner, watching one of my fav movies of all time – “The Rock” – for the umpteenth time in TNT, followed by a couple of hours of mind-numbing Unwrapped episodes on FoodTV. Overall result: quite relaxing. Then comes Monday. Not one of my best days to begin with. Half the day is usually spent trying to straighten out decisions that were made hastily at 5pm the previous Friday. The rest half is then spent trying to catch up on work that was supposed to be done over the weekend. Not a productive day at all.

But today… was a whole another story — 3 PG announcements and 1 birth announcement. Seriously??!! On a Monday? It was almost like everyone that I know of had convened behind my back to figure out when to surprise me with their “good news”. Boohoo!! It wasn’t all bad though… its just that there were a lot of mixed feelings. The first PG announcement was from a friend who had an “oops PG” as her 40th B’day gift. And here I am… hoping that I have an “IVF PG” as my 28th B’day gift!! But I have to say… she is a good friend of mine and I really hope that everything goes well for her. Its just that I want that… for me.  The second was from an acquaintance at work. Don’t know her well… but it still bugged me. The third was from a fellow IF warrior from my local support group. Her first IVF was successful and she is now PG with twins. I am happy for her but… but… I want that. And the birth announcement came from a long lost work buddy of mine who I just happened to bump into at the work cafeteria. Of all the things we can talk abt in the 3 mins that we met, couldn’t you mention anything else?! And BTW.. did I mention THAT is what I want!

But other than wanting THAT… the day was as good as a Monday can be!

Sprog

After a really long time, I had typed up this refreshing post on how my life is good and how I am very happy with how things are going, but that is for another day. Right now my heart goes out for Sprogblogger. She just got some devastating news. Please stop by to offer some much needed prayers and support. Life is so unfair!!

PG rant, Shopping, Banquet

Within a 2-month span in mid 2007 we attended 5 weddings. Yes FIVE!! 2 in the US and 3 in India.

Within the past 3 months I have heard from 2 of them stating that they are expecting (due at the end of the year)! Another couple was in the super fast track and already gave birth to a kid last September. That leaves only 2 couples. And I should have known that the other 2 couples were not too far behind.

A couple of days ago, I got a surprise phone call that one of them is due in October!! That makes 4 out of 5. And that leaves me in a very very bad place. I can’t say for sure that it is not envy!! I want to be happy for them. At least that’s how I hoped I portrayed myself when they told me the news over the phone. To all you uber-fertile folks who are eagering waiting to announce your pregnancy to the world, do us “unfortuantes” a favor by doing what my BFF did when she got PG with her 2nd — email the news out! This gives us infertiles time to sort through our feelings, deal with them, yell at God or whoever, compose ourselves of what to say, and then congratulate you when we are feeling up to it. Plain and Simple.

Ok… done with the rant…

This past weekend, I had to attend a black-tie work-related banquet. I had been looking forward to the actual event, but not so much for the dressing up! See… I am not a dress person. Give me a pair of jeans and a tshirt with some sandals and I am a happy person. Comfy is king! So I put off thinking abt what I am going to wear until the very last moment. Three days before the event, I had a panic attack! I didn’t have a dress, I didn’t have shoes, I didn’t have anything. And so shopping I went.

On day 1, I entered every decently priced store I came across – Ba.na.na Re.publ.ic, An.n T.ay.lor, B.CB.G, J.J.ill, Nor.dst.orm – and some others. I ended the day with a pair of jeans and a couple of tshirts. 5 hours later, no dress!

On Day 2, with a friend in tow. Within maybe 30 mins in Mac.y.’s. I found a decent dress and a cream shawl to go with it. I couldn’t find a picture of the exact dress I wore. But here is a pic of the same dress with a different pattern and a pic of the pattern of my dress.

On Day 3, another 1.5hrs in M.ac.y’.s, I nailed the accessories. Since I am fashion-dumb, I walked up to a couple of young saleswomen, showed my dress, and pleaded for their help! The best helpers I have ever encountered in any store!!  And I walked out with this. Mission accomplished. :)

All I needed was something to carry my wallet and phone in. The morning of the event I walked into a mall and was told that Fo.rev.er 2.1 was the place. And in 10 mins, I walked out with this.

Unfortunately I don’t have a picture from the day off event. But I leave it up to your imagination. All in all, the awards banquet went well.  It was assigned seating based on the team that receives the award and who do I get to sit with? A pregnant couple, a couple with 2 young kids, and another couple with two teenagers. And the main topic of the discussion was…. you guessed it… KIDS!!! ARRRGGHH!! I just wanted to go into hiding when one of them asked us if we had any kids. You know, I was this close to saying “Yeah, I do. Except that it is DEAD now!!” (Call me crazy but thats how I feel!!). But figured its not worth the trouble. In any case, the conversation turned out ok and shifted to cruising and travelling and such. I survived!

In my 3 years of IF struggle, pregnancies and pregnant people haven’t affected me as much as it is right now. But thats whole another topic and I will save it for later.

Milestone & MIL visit

Today I caught up on a number of blogs and I was just happy to realize that I can move a bunch of them to my “success stories” list. As the number of blogs in the “waiting to get pg” list gets small, I can’t help but wonder how long before I crossover. The beginning of July marks 3 years since we started this journey and we are still at it. So I guess we have reached a milestone of some sorts!! Yay!!??! 3 years ago, we were both naive and just blissfully ignorant of what it would take. But that’s ok… We know more now and we have some answers to the “why us?” questions. And I am just thankful for that. That’s abt as much of looking back and pondering that I care to do at this point!

Moving on to other stuff… Let’s see… My MIL was here for the last couple of months. Deep breath… Everything went really really well. I know. Hard to believe…right? The last time she visited, things didn’t quite go as well as we would have hoped… There was crying, angry faces, and crazy emotions flying all over. But this time, nothing of such sorts. She leaves tomorrow. So fingers are still crossed that things stay that way. I think I attribute the getting along well to the recent miscarriage to some extent!! I think that it has just made me realize that there are far more important things to life than worrying abt who is going to cook dinner, or worrying abt some snide comment that gets passed on. Strange how something as devastating as a miscarriage can be a cause for some positive in life.

In other news, DH got me one of these…

And I just wrote this entire post on from it. Soo happy with my new toy… Simple pleasures I guess!! :)