I could pretty much point you to this post to tell you how I feel right now. I wrote that when I was 9dp3dt of IVF#2-FET. Funny how nothing changes. Funny how those feelings just keep coming back. To add to that, I am now…
Scared that even if I see the two lines on a stick, I might not see a healthy heartbeat
Scared that even if I see the heartbeat, the embie won’t grow on schedule
Beta is day after tomorrow — on Tax day. I haven’t POAS’d yet. I know that if I have a healthy pregnancy, I should have a positive pee stick by now. But I am just too timid to find out. The past two mornings, as I get out of bed, I think about the possibility of “knowing”, and I think about POAS, but I am also reminded of the fact that it might be a negative, and I chicken out. On some level, I am scared of seeing the second line on the stick… especially now that I “know” on a first-hand basis that two lines does not equal to baby in 9 months! I am terrified.
As far as symptoms go, it is just like last time. I have some cramps off and on but we all know it doesn’t mean much. My boobs are just the same as they were since I started the PIO. No new soreness. I don’t know. I want this to work. I want this to work so bad.
Tomorrow is New Year’s day for us. And I am going to mend my relationship with God tomorrow, irrespective of which way this cycle goes. I am not as religious as my parents or my in-laws would like but I want to be at least in talking terms with God. On some level, I still believe in him.
I think I am going to find out tomorrow morning. I usually don’t POAS until the morning of beta, but one day earlier should not make or break the deal. Hopefully, I don’t chicken out tomorrow.
I just read this today and I really really hope and pray you get double lines if you did test today. I’m sorry this has been such a tough road for you, I wish I could take it all away from everyone, IF really does suck.
I’m glad your meeting with God tommorrow, if anything, He will provide you with a safe place to fall, a silent non judgemental shoulder to cry on and a being to scream with. It’s not fair, but He didn’t choose this for you and wants to walk this journey with you, I truely believe that.
I do hope that you get good news today….
I so very much hope this is your cycle. Keeping my fingers crossed that you get a positive, and that you and your little one then go on to clear all the hurdles before you with room to spare.
it is such a scary feeling. i am so hoping this is your sticky little miracle! thinking of you & wishing you all the best…
I know EXACTLY what you are feeling.If you haven’t yet you should check out my blog our betas are on the same day.I caved and took a test this morning with my first urine and it was positive.I want to be excited but I am still scared and I was all the way up to taking the test.Could trigger still be left??? I almost chickened out and decided not to look at the test and just throw it away.But I did.I fought with myself in my head before i even got out of bed this morning whether I had the guts to do it.I was very honestly expecting a BFN Again I am here for you as I know how you feel. -Megan
I found your blog through another girl and I just wanted to tell you that I’m praying for you guys and wishing the best for tomorrows results.
I’m so scared too. I know just how you feel. Fingers crossed for both of us.
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I was scared to POAS because llike you said, even if I was pregnant, would it last? I had that experience last time, and I am still, at 7 weeks 2 days scared out of my mind! But put yourself out of your misery and POAS in the am. JUST DO IT! :)
I want this to work for you too! The knowing is so scary- either way. I can’t wait to hear from you tomorrow. Good luck! Stay strong. I’m thinking of you.
I hope this is it – it is scary – we will be here for you no matter what.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I will keep you guys posted on what happens tomorrow.
Amanda, Mellisa, Megan, and rosesdaughter, if you guys blog, please leave your blog addresses. I’d love to read up and follow your stories.
Thinking of you and just adding to the earlier comments to remind you that you’re not alone out here — we all totally understand and are sending our best vibes your way! I am really happy for you that you are sorting out your relationship with God as well. The IF experience is a challenge to faith, no doubt, but I have come to find Grace in the lowest moments along this journey. I hope you can discover a huge source of strength there as well.
Fingers crossed for you!
Happy New Year! I hope the new year brings new beginnings, and 2 fat lines on the pee stick and a big beta number, healthy heartbeat, healthy baby and everything good! (It’s my new year today too! :-) )
Happy New Year…and hope you can keep your sanity intact…the wait is so gruelling…
the cramps are a good sign….
Hold on sweetheart!!! I am holding my breath…
and hmm Shubho Noboborsho…. :)